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| WELCOME TO MY PAGAN HUMOUR PAGE !!! |
| WARNING
!!! WITCHES DO IT IN THE MOONLIGHT PRACTICE SAFE HEX |
| Minds are like Parachutes - They only function when opened. |
| "Jesus Saves" The Goddess Invests! |
| What's
the best thing about Pagan friends? They worship the ground you walk on |
| Did you hear about the
dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa |
| "He is YOUR God, They are YOUR rules, YOU bnrn in Hell" |
| What
do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid? Someone who worships the tree that is not there. |
| What
do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid mathematician? Someone who worships the square roots of the tree that is not there. |
| What
do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid veternarian? Someone who worships the bark of the tree that is not there. |
| What do ya' call 13 Witches in a hot tub? - Self-Cleaning Coven |
| Get a taste for religion, lick a Witch |
| The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework |
| Please hold. All
muses are busy right now, but your inspiration is important to us... |
| How many
Garnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't say. It's oathbound |
| How many
Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb? Same number as Gardnerians. |
| What kind of
furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer? Wicker |
| Why did the Wiccan novitiate give up pork? She thought the Rede said, "Chew what you will, but ham-none." |
| What's the difference between New Age and Pagan? About $500.00 a weekend. |
| "Dyslexics of the world Untie" |
| How many Dianacs does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change. |
| Please don't squeeze the shaman! |
| When God Created Men She must have been Drunk and Horny! |
| How
many witches does it take to change a lightbulb??? None if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good enough for me! |
| "Confuscious say man who sits alone in church, sits in his own pew." |
| "Confuscious say man who stands on toilet is high on pot." |
| What is a witch's favorite snack? PAN pizza |
| What's a witch's favorite subject in school? SPELLing. |
| ***ERROR
#666 HARD DRIVE POSESSED! Load EXOR.SYS (Y/N)*** When that happens, and EXOR.SYS doesn't work, do you 'ascii' a priest? |
| And with spirits,
you can get slimed. With a posessed HD, do you get 'giu'ed?? |
| If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one? |
| Sign in a Wiccan
Bookstore: "No Shoplifting! Offenders will be Possessed! Second-time Offenders will be Re-Possessed!" |
| What is one
thing you never have to worry about? Your airplane being hijacked by a group of radical Unitarians. |
| Definition of Irish Diplomacy; The Art of telling a man to go to hell, so that he actually looks forward to the trip. |
| A sign with a
dagger on it in a bookstore: "Shoplifters will be merrily hacked to pieces!" |
| How many Druids
does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles. |
| How many Druids
does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin. |
| How many
ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? One; he stands still with the
bulb, and the universe revolves around him. |
| How many
Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb? None. Crowley never wrote a book about it. |
| What do Thelemites do for foreplay? The LBRP. |
| Atheism is a non-prophet organization. |
| If ignorance is
bliss, why aren't more people happy? |
| Moral indignation
is jealousy with a halo. |
| Heck is a place
for people who don't believe in Gosh. |
| A squirrel
is just a rat with good P.R. |
| " I believe
in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures " |
| "Jesus is coming. Look Busy!" |
| "Jesus saves!
By using double coupons & shopping wisely" |
| WASP...We Are Sexy Pagans |
| Misspellers of the world, unit! |
| Ankh if you love Isis!! |
| Domineering,
coldhearted, vicious bitch seeks submissive, warmhearted, caring man for INTENSE love/hate relationship! |
| What do you call a
dating club for unattached Wiccans? Craft singles! |
| How many Zen
Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, one not to change it. |
| How many Zen
Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None. The universe changes the light bulb & the Zen Master gets the fuck out of the way! |
| "Sorry I wasn't in church last Sunday, but I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian" |
| That was Zen; this is Tao. |
| Why did the
Zen Buddhist get reincarnated as a Pizza Supreme? He wanted to be one with everything. |
| Jesus saves...but
Gretsky catches the rebound! He shoots! HE SCOOORES! |
WHY
M&M'S ARE WICCAN: |
| ENOUGH ALREADY ! | |
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ALWAYS REMEMBER, SOMEBODY SAID - I DON'T KNOW WHO?
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